


Living to Survive

by alecmagnuslwb



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Post Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecmagnuslwb/pseuds/alecmagnuslwb
Summary: With Catarina and Madzie, Dot finds a home, a family. An alternate timeline where Dot didn’t die after her showdown with Jonathan.
Relationships: Catarina Loss/Dorothea "Dot" Rollins, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Living to Survive

**Author's Note:**

> Writer’s month day 21, prompt: Family

When you’ve successfully and significantly cheated death three times, or is it four now she can’t even remember, reacclimating to life as it was before isn’t easy.

Dorothea Rollins has become an expert at it though. She’s survived the Circle, Valentine and his little demon spawn son and come back from it each time with a renewed sense of survival flowing through her veins. She’s become a survivor in the truest sense of the word just living to survive.

As strong as she is though she needs support. Her community pulls through, most specifically and especially Catarina Loss.

They’ve known each other for years frequently finding themselves in the same cities over the centuries and spending quite a bit of time together during her and Magnus’ brief relationship, but they’ve never been exceedingly close. They’ve been acquaintances, colleagues even at best.

All that changes after her face to face showdown with Jonathan, Sebastian whatever he calls himself. She survives staying behind to protect Clary and Jace, but just barely immediately going into hiding so the little crispy bastard son of Valentine doesn’t try to track her down and finish the job.

She runs first to the old bookstore Eliot Nourse once owned simply to breathe and heal her wounds with any potions still floating around in the abandoned shop. She knows she can’t stay long though sooner or later someone will buy the place and she’ll have to vacate the premises and as much as she’d like to do this alone, to just wash her hands of everything she knows that’s not realistic.

She considers going to Magnus first, but everything has been tense between them since her aborted drunken attempt to kiss him that frankly had left her more embarrassed than anything else. Mix that tenseness with the fact that she knows Magnus will no doubt be tangled up in the fight against Jonathan because of his earth-shattering love for Alec and his constant dedication to his people rules him out.

She thinks of other friends, either gone or too far away to bother and then she thinks of Catarina. When she knocks on her door she’s not sure what to expect, the little girl, Madzie, that had called her pretty when she’d been drained of every bit of her life force is certainly not it.

She stares up at her with wide eyes a shy smile on her face as she hides half behind the door until Catarina steps up behind her.

“Madz what did I tell you about just answering the door,” she says before looking up and spotting Dot. She gives her a sad smile before opening the door wide. “Come on in.”

She lets her in her home and not just for a meal and a place to sleep for the night, but indefinitely. Catarina gets swept up in the fight eventually but only when her help is requested expressly and exclusively from Magnus or Alec. She leaves Dot out of it though every time, doesn’t even mention that she’s staying there or that she’s alive just as Dot had requested.

Madzie even keeps quiet, choosing to think of it like a game, never even mentioning Dot’s existence to Magnus or Alec who she loves whispering little secrets to. Dot hears the stories of everything going on outside, Valentine dies a bloody deserved death, Lilith goes topside, Clary goes missing, Magnus loses his magic, gets it back, goes to Edom, Alec decides Jonathan’s apocalypse can wait in favor of saving Magnus and Dot finds herself respecting him more and more every day.

Catarina is her lifeline, her constant through all this. The two growing closer than ever before in a few months’ time. Madzie becomes her little co-conspirator brightening her days when nothing else seems to be able to.

Then, Jonathan dies and for a moment the world outside is a little safer, a little brighter.

But Dot isn’t ready to go back out in yet. Catarina tries with all her might to get Dot to go to the wedding with her, but she turns her down. She plays it off as not wanting to steal any spotlight making a big ‘guess what I’m not dead!’ reveal to everyone and the fact that nobody wants to go to an exes wedding.

And while those things are both true, the truer sense is she’s just not ready to be back in the swing of things yet.

Months pass and she finds herself easing a little bit more every day all thanks to Cat and Madzie. It’s baby steps of course, trips to the park and for dinner at the little Vietnamese restaurant around the corner every Tuesday, but eventually it’s bigger things. 

Catarina makes her feel safe, Madzie makes her smile and she starts thinking about living again, really living.

Soon enough she is. She reunites with friends including a memory returned Clary. The pair finding a closeness they never really had before growing now that they’ve both survived some pretty horrendous things.

She finds comfort in new bonds, finally letting go of her past feelings for Magnus and getting to know Alec, who’s actually pretty great. But none of it compares to what she feels with Cat and Madzie, she can’t imagine life without them now.

It’s been over a year when she realizes just what that means. Cat is motoring around the kitchen juggling making breakfast for Madzie, organizing a sleepover weekend with Magnus and Alec and writing down her shifts for the next two weeks on the calendar on the fridge simultaneously, refusing Dot’s offered helped when she asks. So Dot just watches her, Madzie sitting to her side coloring and that’s when it hits her.

She loves her. She loves them. In such a short time they’ve become her family, the first real family she thinks she’s ever had.

It’s surprises her, even though it really shouldn’t and when Madzie nudges her and slides the picture she’s been coloring over it all settles into place in her heart easily. It’s Madzie standing on Alec’s shoulders with Magnus holding his hand, Catarina reaching up holding her hand and next to Cat is Dot clasping hands with Cat’s free one. It says all their names at the top Uncle Magnus, Uncle Alec, Mommy, Madzie and Dot-Dot, as she’s grown to calling her and underneath it all the word family is written in bright rainbow colors.

She smiles and Madzie just carrying on like she hasn’t just made Dot’s day, week, life maybe even.

It’s three nights later while sitting on the couch kicking back with virgin margaritas, Madzie off to her uncles for the weekend, when Dot finally decides to make a move after her stark revelation the other morning. When her lips meet Cat’s and Cat eagerly responds it feels like coming home, feels like for the first time since the day Clary turned eighteen she’s not just surviving, she’s living.

“I didn’t want to rush you, but damn it’s about time,” Catarina chuckles when they finally pull back.

Dot laughs, pure joy and just leans right back in.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [alecmagnuslwb](https://alecmagnuslwb.tumblr.com/)


End file.
